One of my greatest fears is not of dying, but of dying from cancer. Watching people you love die of cancer really bites; I've watched it take my mother and good part of her family. It scares the crap out of me; I don't want to go that way! I feel like it's my destiny to leave this world that way & I'm going to fight like crazy for that not to happen!
About 2 months ago, I found a lump in my right breast. I tried to ignore it, but it wasn't going away. If I lay a certain way, I can feel it and it hurts! So I finally decided to get it checked and I'm not sure what hurts more; the lump or the mammogram. I watched the pictures develop on the monitor and saw the shadows; I could see the lump. In one way it was kinda cool and in another it's something you don't want to see. I know one thing, a woman did NOT develop the machine that does mammograms. Testing done....now the dreaded wait! The envelope arrives, you open it....and you cry! Only this time, it's tears of happiness. Results are negative, no cancer! I have to get a follow-up exam and recheck in 6 months.
BUT....the lump is still there and it still hurts! What else is my body trying to tell me? Do I have the medical student disease? Am I going to get the symptoms from every disease I study? Am I going to drive myself completely mad searching for the answers to each pain, lump, creaking noise I hear or feel in my body? I guess only time will answer that question!